It just comes down to a certain point when you forget who you are. What were you supposed to do? What the purpose was. And part of you taken away which would not be able to be returned to you. It is almost as good as selling your soul to the devil.You wished that everything would be alright. But it just won’t be. My emotions are numb. I just cannot feel it anymore. I wish I could just cry like a baby, and get pacified, even if it is my own shit, infuriating me.
I wished I could fight for myself, I learnt to fight. I had to fend for myself now. No one must ever hurt me. This desire within to never want to be hurt again became stronger. The world is cruel and evil. To win this sick world, you have to be crueler. The desperate need of feeling secure soon turned into a hunger of being the alpha male and I am not the best, and what I could do within that short period of time; pretend to be someone else, you’ve got to put up that brave front. You have got to protect yourself. I tackled the weak, to bring myself up, and soon the weak was not enough; it was time to take on the big boys. And become an even bigger jerk. Lies covering other lies, deceit is the name of the game. A facade which soon became too heavy to put on.
I could not hold on to it, so I put it down, it was when I found my true friends. But somehow, I needed something more. But I guess I just have to wait till the right one appears.
i want to let go of everything, but it seems impossible.
The kind of person who enjoys good music more than you can imagine..